Saturday, July 30, 2011


is that necessary to have crush? u know what google translate it? it is 'menghancurkan'. that's mean crush can make u worse. is that true? (this is nothing to do with coco crunch or accident)
i don't know. one of my friends told me that when you have crush, he/she will burn your spirit to go to the class. i've no comment regarding this.
it happened to me few times. i was like blaming myself for feeling that way because it is not comforting at all. when i was doing something, suddenly he appeared in my mind. when he passed by me, suddenly i was like fainting. seriously it was painful. i always tried to get rid of him from my mind. but the more i tried to, the more i would remember him. but this is nonsense. i had read something regarding this somewhere. it said that it is normal for teenagers to have crush but then we always have Islam as our way of life. that's why Allah ask us to lower our sight. sweet right?!

p/s:just a reminder to me as some of my friends are having crush right now. there are some info about crush here.


i was listening to dR. Muhaya this morning through IKIM. there are many things that i got from her. one of them when she said that, IPTA's students always said that "there are a lot of competitions" but then she said that actually as muslims we shouldn't feel that way, Islam urged us to focus on how to be good as one ummah not individually. meaning that we should cooperate with each others not compete. just wondering am i competing? or am i a competitor?

one more thing is when we are doing our responsibilities we should focus on giving not receiving. and that will make our efforts more worthy since Allah is watching.

Monday, July 18, 2011


it has been sooo long since my last update... i've many things to be shared walakin i 've other priority. i just think i want to share my essay on myself...which ended up i had been scolded by the teacher for writing too long essay... :'(

On the 5th of October 1993, at 11.28am, a young mother safely gave birth to a healthy cute baby girl after struggling with her own life. That baby girl is the eldest child to a married couple, ********* and ********** and that baby is me. I was born on warm, sunny day in Melaka, the historical state of Malaysia. My parents named me ********. The name “*******” came out from an Arabic word which means kind and good but I am recognized as “Kak Long” among my family, which mean the eldest daughter since I am a sister to my four naughty little brothers and two annoying sisters. Having annoying siblings are not cool at the most time, because they always play tricks to each other, messing my room and taking my stuffs without my permission. But nowadays I really miss their voices since I am currently studying in Islamic Science University of Malaysia which located far away from my hometown. Although we always had quarrels, I love them very much because they made who I am today.

I was an average student throughout my academic years. My schooling years started in 1998 when I was 5 years old and I cannot remember more about my experiences during this kindergarten’s period except that I always cry, cry and cry whenever I was treated badly by my friends. Then I pursued my schooling years in Sekolah Kebangsaan Demit 1. This is the place where I gained many experiences and achievements in my life. Here, I got to be assistant for head prefect, and able to participate in a few competitions which I managed to raise up the name of my school at state level. The biggest achievement at this primary school level is when I managed to gain 5A’s during my UPSR which made me able to enter SMKA Naim Lilbanat; one of the famous school in Kelantan nowadays. I belief that life is like a wheel. Sometimes we are on the top and sometimes we are at the bottom. I would say that my time during secondary school is where I was at the bottom of the wheel. I became passive. It was not because of I did not like to join the activities that were held by the school but I guessed I just don’t have talent that became the barrier for me to go further. But it was not the end of the world it just that I do not have talent on that particular things only. So, I focused more on my academic which I always believe that knowledge is utmost important for human beings especially Muslim since Islam teaches us to gain knowledge throughout our life from the time we were born and till the day we die. Eventually I managed to score with flying colours in my SPM with straight A’s and now I am currently studying at Islamic Science University of Malaysia in medicine course specifically Medicine’s Tamhidi which is in the same level with the foundation. I will study for one year at its main campus which is located in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan before moving to Pandan Indah only if I manage to confirm my place there by getting certain marks at the end of the year to further my degree. I am just hoping for the best and I believe Allah knows the best.

Don’t judge a book by its cover is a metaphorical phrase which means you should not prejudge the value of something, by its outer appearance alone. But yet people always made first impression at their first meeting with someone. So it is important to care for our appearance since this will lead into our self-confidence. For me, I do care for my appearance but not too extreme since modesty is one of the policies in Islam. I will wear attires that follow the Islamic dress code, made me comfortable and fashionable. Fashionable does not means that I must always be updated about fashion but it is just enough if I know how to match the colour of the veils and the attire so that they are in the same tone and do not look weird. On the other hand, I am quite tall which my height is about 1.60m and do not too fat. Many people who ever meet me would say that I have a Chinese look. Obviously I do have genetic from Chinese since my grandmother is a Chinese woman. It is not weird because nothing is impossible in this world. It is a long story how did my grandmother can convert into Islam. Sometimes we cannot judge our self, so some judgement from others must be considered. I always encountered people that would described me as kind, sweet and cheerful person. It may be true and maybe not but mostly it is true. I am a person who makes mistakes, but have the courtesy to learn from them and not make them twice. I am a person who laughs but sometimes I know how to cry. My personality and character are two important features that make me who I am. Although I may have some weakness in my character, I am basically the upbeat type. I try to be as happy as I can most of the time. Everyone cannot please each other but if everyone pleases themselves and are cheerful most of the time, I feel it is a better start for your life.

­­­­­I consider myself as a good listener because I love lending my ears to my friends. Whenever they need someone to share their problems I will make sure that I will be there for them. Anyway there is a quote that say “when you listen, you often learn something new” and “the wise learn from the mistakes of others”, which is totally correct. Besides, a friend in need, is a friend in deed. I am definitely a person who loves to share too. Whenever I went for vacations or camps, I always share ­­­­­­­­­about what I experienced there either they were funny, sad or happy moments and sometimes if I have extra money I would buy them some souvenirs. I usually share my knowledge and opinions regarding our school assignments or current issues if we have group discussion. I just enjoy sharing. I feel good when I share because sharing is caring but sometimes sharing is scary too whenever it comes to marriage. One more thing about my characteristics is that I am soft-hearted. My heart is always easily touched by others grief. I remembered when I was in form two, when my best friend received news that her father had passed away, I cried more than her. Maybe this sympathetic feeling that makes me want to be a doctor. Someone had said to me that if you want to be a doctor you need to have sympathy for the patients who are suffering from their diseases and that would made me a better doctor. On the bad side of me is that I am a quite hot-tempered girl. I will easily get angry if there is anybody who dares to disturb me when I am doing my works especially when I sleep. I, on the other hand will cry if someone scolds me because I am so sensitive. Just blame the fragile heart. I am not a perfect one. I am just a normal person. I laugh when I am happy and cry when I feel sad. Well, this is me.

I believe in one quote that says “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” but nobody plan to fail. So, I do have a plan for my future which after I complete my education at matriculation level I would continue to do my degree in medicine course which would take me six years before I can get the ‘Dr’ title. After that I would like to be a specialist either in paediatric or obstetric and gynaecology. Paediatric is a branch of medicine concerned with children and their diseases while obstetric and gynaecology are another branches of medicine concerned with the birth of children and scientific study and treatment of the medical conditions and diseases of women especially those connected with sexual reproduction. That is my career building. Marriage? I would marry if I have find my Mr. Right and I would like to have many children. I hope that time will come sooner. Each passing moments is a new life experience for me and makes me grow into the person that I want to be. Day by day, hour by hour, minutes by minutes, I take a new step in my life. Even the life is getting harder for me, giving up is not an option. I always have Allah to return to whenever I have problems and He will always be there for me, to listen to me. This short essay about me is not enough for me to tell everything about me. It is impossible to know me just by reading this essay because I myself am still learning to know myself. Everyday, every second in my life I learn something new about me and nobody will ever know everything about me because people may change. Although I am not a president or inventor of anything yet, I do believe that my life so far has been meaningful and exciting.

*it is not 100% true XP