...crush?!!

is that necessary to have crush? u know what google translate it? it is 'menghancurkan'. that's mean crush can make u worse. is that true? (this is nothing to do with coco crunch or accident)
i don't know. one of my friends told me that when you have crush, he/she will burn your spirit to go to the class. i've no comment regarding this.
it happened to me few times. i was like blaming myself for feeling that way because it is not comforting at all. when i was doing something, suddenly he appeared in my mind. when he passed by me, suddenly i was like fainting. seriously it was painful. i always tried to get rid of him from my mind. but the more i tried to, the more i would remember him. but this is nonsense. i had read something regarding this somewhere. it said that it is normal for teenagers to have crush but then we always have Islam as our way of life. that's why Allah ask us to lower our sight. sweet right?!

p/s:just a reminder to me as some of my friends are having crush right now. there are some info about crush here.

..tazkirah

i was listening to dR. Muhaya this morning through IKIM. there are many things that i got from her. one of them when she said that, IPTA's students always said that "there are a lot of competitions" but then she said that actually as muslims we shouldn't feel that way, Islam urged us to focus on how to be good as one ummah not individually. meaning that we should cooperate with each others not compete. just wondering am i competing? or am i a competitor?

one more thing is when we are doing our responsibilities we should focus on giving not receiving. and that will make our efforts more worthy since Allah is watching.

myself

it has been sooo long since my last update... i've many things to be shared walakin i 've other priority. i just think i want to share my essay on myself...which ended up i had been scolded by the teacher for writing too long essay... :'(

On the 5^th of October 1993, at 11.28am, a young mother safely gave birth to a healthy cute baby girl after struggling with her own life. That baby girl is the eldest child to a married couple, ********* and ********** and that baby is me. I was born on warm, sunny day in Melaka, the historical state of Malaysia. My parents named me ********. The name “*******” came out from an Arabic word which means kind and good but I am recognized as “Kak Long” among my family, which mean the eldest daughter since I am a sister to my four naughty little brothers and two annoying sisters. Having annoying siblings are not cool at the most time, because they always play tricks to each other, messing my room and taking my stuffs without my permission. But nowadays I really miss their voices since I am currently studying in Islamic Science University of Malaysia which located far away from my hometown. Although we always had quarrels, I love them very much because they made who I am today.

I was an average student throughout my academic years. My schooling years started in 1998 when I was 5 years old and I cannot remember more about my experiences during this kindergarten’s period except that I always cry, cry and cry whenever I was treated badly by my friends. Then I pursued my schooling years in Sekolah Kebangsaan Demit 1. This is the place where I gained many experiences and achievements in my life. Here, I got to be assistant for head prefect, and able to participate in a few competitions which I managed to raise up the name of my school at state level. The biggest achievement at this primary school level is when I managed to gain 5A’s during my UPSR which made me able to enter SMKA Naim Lilbanat; one of the famous school in Kelantan nowadays. I belief that life is like a wheel. Sometimes we are on the top and sometimes we are at the bottom. I would say that my time during secondary school is where I was at the bottom of the wheel. I became passive. It was not because of I did not like to join the activities that were held by the school but I guessed I just don’t have talent that became the barrier for me to go further. But it was not the end of the world it just that I do not have talent on that particular things only. So, I focused more on my academic which I always believe that knowledge is utmost important for human beings especially Muslim since Islam teaches us to gain knowledge throughout our life from the time we were born and till the day we die. Eventually I managed to score with flying colours in my SPM with straight A’s and now I am currently studying at Islamic Science University of Malaysia in medicine course specifically Medicine’s Tamhidi which is in the same level with the foundation. I will study for one year at its main campus which is located in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan before moving to Pandan Indah only if I manage to confirm my place there by getting certain marks at the end of the year to further my degree. I am just hoping for the best and I believe Allah knows the best.

Don’t judge a book by its cover is a metaphorical phrase which means you should not prejudge the value of something, by its outer appearance alone. But yet people always made first impression at their first meeting with someone. So it is important to care for our appearance since this will lead into our self-confidence. For me, I do care for my appearance but not too extreme since modesty is one of the policies in Islam. I will wear attires that follow the Islamic dress code, made me comfortable and fashionable. Fashionable does not means that I must always be updated about fashion but it is just enough if I know how to match the colour of the veils and the attire so that they are in the same tone and do not look weird. On the other hand, I am quite tall which my height is about 1.60m and do not too fat. Many people who ever meet me would say that I have a Chinese look. Obviously I do have genetic from Chinese since my grandmother is a Chinese woman. It is not weird because nothing is impossible in this world. It is a long story how did my grandmother can convert into Islam. Sometimes we cannot judge our self, so some judgement from others must be considered. I always encountered people that would described me as kind, sweet and cheerful person. It may be true and maybe not but mostly it is true. I am a person who makes mistakes, but have the courtesy to learn from them and not make them twice. I am a person who laughs but sometimes I know how to cry. My personality and character are two important features that make me who I am. Although I may have some weakness in my character, I am basically the upbeat type. I try to be as happy as I can most of the time. Everyone cannot please each other but if everyone pleases themselves and are cheerful most of the time, I feel it is a better start for your life.

­­­­­I consider myself as a good listener because I love lending my ears to my friends. Whenever they need someone to share their problems I will make sure that I will be there for them. Anyway there is a quote that say “when you listen, you often learn something new” and “the wise learn from the mistakes of others”, which is totally correct. Besides, a friend in need, is a friend in deed. I am definitely a person who loves to share too. Whenever I went for vacations or camps, I always share ­­­­­­­­­about what I experienced there either they were funny, sad or happy moments and sometimes if I have extra money I would buy them some souvenirs. I usually share my knowledge and opinions regarding our school assignments or current issues if we have group discussion. I just enjoy sharing. I feel good when I share because sharing is caring but sometimes sharing is scary too whenever it comes to marriage. One more thing about my characteristics is that I am soft-hearted. My heart is always easily touched by others grief. I remembered when I was in form two, when my best friend received news that her father had passed away, I cried more than her. Maybe this sympathetic feeling that makes me want to be a doctor. Someone had said to me that if you want to be a doctor you need to have sympathy for the patients who are suffering from their diseases and that would made me a better doctor. On the bad side of me is that I am a quite hot-tempered girl. I will easily get angry if there is anybody who dares to disturb me when I am doing my works especially when I sleep. I, on the other hand will cry if someone scolds me because I am so sensitive. Just blame the fragile heart. I am not a perfect one. I am just a normal person. I laugh when I am happy and cry when I feel sad. Well, this is me.

I believe in one quote that says “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” but nobody plan to fail. So, I do have a plan for my future which after I complete my education at matriculation level I would continue to do my degree in medicine course which would take me six years before I can get the ‘Dr’ title. After that I would like to be a specialist either in paediatric or obstetric and gynaecology. Paediatric is a branch of medicine concerned with children and their diseases while obstetric and gynaecology are another branches of medicine concerned with the birth of children and scientific study and treatment of the medical conditions and diseases of women especially those connected with sexual reproduction. That is my career building. Marriage? I would marry if I have find my Mr. Right and I would like to have many children. I hope that time will come sooner. Each passing moments is a new life experience for me and makes me grow into the person that I want to be. Day by day, hour by hour, minutes by minutes, I take a new step in my life. Even the life is getting harder for me, giving up is not an option. I always have Allah to return to whenever I have problems and He will always be there for me, to listen to me. This short essay about me is not enough for me to tell everything about me. It is impossible to know me just by reading this essay because I myself am still learning to know myself. Everyday, every second in my life I learn something new about me and nobody will ever know everything about me because people may change. Although I am not a president or inventor of anything yet, I do believe that my life so far has been meaningful and exciting.

*it is not 100% true XP

my life campus...

insyaAllah this is just a short update. so, it has been almost a month since i entered usim. life campus is very different with school life. the schedule, teachers, friends, uniform, places, environment etc. thus, i need time to adapt myself especially to mingle with boys. it is really hard n weird to communicate with boys. but, i believe with time i can cope with this.

here, i get courage to speak english n tatakallam billughatul arabiah, surely not fluently. this is something that i didn't get during my old days in school. since the education is outcome based oriented.

i've got a broadband for myself. yah! it is costly. :'( but it's ok since i'm running a business right now. it is rm1 per hour. cheap right? hahaha.. just hoping it will backup my broadband's bill. the special thing about this broadband is, it is not on my name. i borrowed someone's ic because i'm too young to own a broadband. thanks to that friend bcause she is willing to lend me her ic.

the life is a bit hectic here. have to leave the house around 7am n come back around 6pm every weekdays(from monday to friday). tired? of course i am. i usually sleep very early at night. my schedule is unorder right now.. huhuhu.. very jelous with my friends bcause they r so organised. even i can't finished my assignment. that is worst right? i'm motivatedless right now.. :'(
i have to REARRRANNGGED (mr.Arho's style; he's my lecturer) my schedule. a schedule that should i follow to be an excellent muslimah mahasiswi.. insyaAllah.. may Allah bless me always.

why i choose usim to further my studies?

simply said that, i am too afraid to be out of an islamic environment or biah solehah. universiti sains islam malaysia, the name told everything. this university was established for students from smka (sekolah menengah kebangsaan agama) and for students who took arabic language during their spm.
and why not iium? eventhough the university got "islam" in its name, i learned that iium had already got bad reputation for its students doing "something bad and wrong". and i am not that strong to be in such environment. experiences during my national service, did teach me a lot, that i do not have strenght to "da'wah" people alone. so i'm hoping that my decision to go for usim is the best choice. that's the main reason why i choose usim instead of others (i also got an offer from MARA to do foundation in msu)
by time i learned that for the scolarships, dental and medic students will automatically get the scolar from psd, regardless of the university. but for usim's students they will get rm6k since the campus is in pandan indah, kuala lumpur as it is consider as "dalam bandar" meanwhile iium's students will get rm4k as its campus is in kuantan. Yay!

these the reasons USIM provides,

• USIM adalah sebuah IPTA yang unik, menawarkan program pengajian (double major) dalam pelbagai bidang
• USIM adalah satu-satunya IPTA yang menawarkan semua program pengajiannya berteraskan pendidikan Islam (usaha pengembalian zaman kegemilangan ilmuan Islam).
• Program pengajiannya diolah untuk melahirkan graduan yang memenuhi keperluan pelbagai industri, luas ilmu dan pengetahuan, menguasai bahasa Arab dan bahasa Inggeris, serta mantap dengan ciri-ciri kemahiran insaniah.
• Tenaga pengajar USIM menggabungkan tenaga pengajar tempatan dan antarabangsa, yang mempunyai kelayakan dan pengalaman luas, pakar dan terkenal dalam bidang masing-masing.

for more reasons click this!

tetiba saya rasa nak stop berblogging....

warning: post ini sedikit emo..

tetiba saya terfikir kenapa aku berblogging...
adakah untuk aku membuang masa...
atau aku saja nak share hidup aku (walaupun mmg xramai yg baca)
atau aku gila glamour

ermm...
aku sbnarnya pown xpasti kenapa aku berblogging
mungkin awal2 dulu aku mmg nk improve my english
then da jadi laen...

actually...
aku bimbang...
kat akhirat nanti Allah tanya
kenapa berblogging?
kenapa facebooking?
ke mana masa muda aku dihabiskan?
apa sumbangan aku terhadap Islam?

...
......
.........
............
........
......
...
rasanya aku kena perbetulkan niat...
kenapa aku buat semua ni?!
sepatutnya aku mencontohi bloggers/vloggers yg laen
yg apa yg dya tulis ada manfaat utk org laen
ada contribution utk Islam...
tp aku tak cukup ilmu....

p/s"sorry kalau ada yg 'terkesot hati'... just ingatan buat diri ini....dan sesiapa yg sudi membaca...

pasca spm: Ketuk2 'Koli' (kuali)

hi bloggie.

boring kan duk rumah?! so ambik peluang nie blajar masak... seronok! kata org tua2 kalau nak tambat hati suami tambatlah dgn air tangan isteri. ecece...

(first pic)
sayur goreng, when da tak ingat resepi nyer ana bantai jer apa2 yg ada kat dapur... tp sedap jgak

(second pic)
Sotong Masam Manis Ala Cerana
Sumber: Resepi 1001 Rasa
Bahan²
5 ekor sotong sederhana besar; potong bulat - guna 1/2 kg sotong
*1/2 " halia
*1 labu bawang besar
*1 labu b.putih
1/2 mangkuk minyak masak utk menumis-mangkuk kecil
4 sudu besar gula- kurangkan kalau tak suka manis
1/2 mangkuk sos cili dan tomato
garam secukupnya
2 sb cuka
3 sb serbuk cili - ganti cili kering blender
*kisar halus; jumlah bawang ni mama kurangkan sikit
2 biji tomato dibelah 4 dibuang biji
2 hirisan nenas dipotong kiub - guna nenas dlm tin
1 biji bawang besar dipotong kiub
Cara membuatnya
1. Goreng sotong hingga separuh masak, ketepikan
2.Dlm kuali lain, panaskan minyak, tumis bahan yg dikisar halus.
3. Masukkan cili,cuka,gula,sos cili dan tomato serta garam
4. Masukkan sotong yg digoreng kedalam kuali sos ini, kacau rata.
5. Masukkan tomato, nenas dan bawang. Kacau dan sedia utk dihidangkan.
- sotong tu mama gaul dgn sedikit tpg goreng segera agar sotong tak lembik sgt bila goreng

resepi nie dirujuk di sini http://mamasya.fotopages.com/?entry=1620396

(3rd pic)
ikan bakar ... kita bakor jer!xp

(4th pic)
kubis goreng simple...

pasca spm: how a muslimah should behave...

post ni ditulis bukan utk mengenakan sesiapa, just rasanya lepas spm nie ana da jumpa bnyak jenis org... "some people learn from their mistakes, but smart people learn from other people's mistakes". so post ini jga adalah pandgn peribadi ana n sbg ingatan utk diri ini....

ikhtilat

atau dlm kata lain nya perhubungan antra lelaki dan perempuan. ana bukannya sempurna dlm menjaga bab ni... tp melihatkan saudara seagama ana tidak menjaga batas2 ini, ana jdi tertanya-tanya,kenapa jadi begini.sedangkan dia ditarbiyah di skolah agama yg biahnya dikelilingi oleh kaum2 hawa. n ana melihat sendiri kebenaran apa2 yang dikatakan oleh org2, budak perempuan yang hanya berskolah di sekolah perempuan sahaja akan menjadi 'extremely gelenya' when dia keluar dri biahnya. it's kind of culture shock la senang cerita. but sekelumit sahaja yg seperti ini bak kata pujangga melayu 'kerana nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga'.

mengikut ilmu yang sedikit yg dikurniakan oleh Allah kepada ana, lelaki n perempuan memang tidak boleh menjadi kawan baik....

"Anda semua tahu kan. Seseorang lelaki tak akan dan akan pernah menjadi kawan baik kepada seorang perempuan. Kerana, jauh disudut hati para lelaki tersbut, akan ada segelintir perasaan cinta yang tidak kesampaian. Dan perasaan itu menjadi kabus di sebalik pertalian ‘best friend forever’."

~the other khairul's blog~

read more: http://theotherkhairul.blogspot.com/2009/05/lelaki-perempuan-rakan-karib-agak.html

berchatting berdua-duaan dgn lelaki pun tak boleh.... coz ia hanya berdua. n ia melibatkan hati, that's why la, (kalau ada rkn fb sy yg Adam mmbaca blog ni) kalau korg bgi salam mlalui chatbox,xberbalas....tp ana jwb salam tu dlm hati... kalau dulu ana mmg tk approve kwan lelaki pun...tp slow2 terjerat ngan bisikan syaitan supaya approve...mmg la mula2 kita kata just kawan jer... then lama2 kita rasa lagha, lalai... manusia nie iman dia sentiasa turun naik, so peranan kita utk cas semula iman kita kepada Allah...same goes to sms. kawan ana pernah kata "kalau kita tak nak husband kita sms ngan perempuan lain, kita pun janganlah sms ngan lelaki lain"....

diteasing oleh Adam... selalu terjadi seseorang wanita diusik oleh lelaki. ana pun xpasti how should we react actually,but what i always do is just ignore them. biarlah diorg nk kata kita ni sombong ke apa ke, yg penting kita nie tak 'mudah'. tp yg always berlaku nyer pegi layan, lelaki kalau dilayan lagi la menjadi-jadi. apa pandgn kita terhadp wanita yg sperti ini?

berpada-padalah dlm perckapan ngan kaum Adam. kalau boleh tak payah lah gatal2 nk panggil abe ke abang ke or lebih dahsyat lagi paggil sayang or bie....ewww!!! apa perasaan husband/future husband kita kalau dya tahu... panggillah encik, much better kut... tp ia hanya merujuk utk org yg gatal...kdg2 tak per je panggil abe... depends on time n situation.

wahai muslimah kenali lah dirimu, hati seorg wanita mmg lembut, that's why kalau ada lelaki yang bgi perhatian lebih jgnlah disangka lelaki tue minat or try nak ngorat kita... lelaki sbnarnya menyampah ngan wanita yg perasan ada org nk ngorat dya...serious ni! tak percaya tanyalah ngan lelaki...

erm...

hi bloggie,

so mcm tu lah...

dlm pertimbangan tue maksudnya apa? masih ada harapankah? or awak memang tak layak?

saya tak tahu lah what is the feeling right now....

..

i'm ok kalau x dapat pown.... but my parents la mcm trkejut kut...

Allah nk uji barangkali....n maybe Allah get better plan for me...

boleh la sy fokus nak belajar memandu.... n tak payah ckap sorang2 dah...

..

but somehow my self-confidence decrease....tu la gelenya sangat mintak dalam negara...

..

Izyan Ariff April 4 at 10:39pm Report

salam.

sory dear. lambt kak yan reply. tak sihat + pindah rumah baru. takde intenet lagi.hehe.. but iA ade soon. (ni kat college)

first off. alhamdulillah. and cCONGRATULATIONSSS!!
bestnye result..suke kak yan tgk, hehe.

kak yan suggest study overseas. sgt2 la byk boleh belajar.
not just in terms of study wise,
but in terms of nk cari tarbiyah. duduk bumi orang die lagi trase nk cari Allah especially.

tp tarbiyah ni leh cari mane2 je. cume snang sket kat sini kot.
leh dapat byk opportunities.
hehe

tp depends jugk la. kite jenis mcm mane. klo duduk jauh ngan family terjaga ke tak? hehe.. ade org duk jauh ngn family lg liar. huhu..ade org lagi terjaga. sbb die carry trust family die tu.

heehe..sory la kak yan ni byk ckap psal nk improve diri. sbb bile diri terjaga, insyaAllah studies terjaga. tp kene pikir jgk la technical issue tu.hehe.. english sure2 la ok kan da dpt A+ tu.ehehehe .. cube la. alng2 result da sgt2 cantik. :)

so skrg jpa tak anta timur tgh eh?
techincallu, mule2 kene set nk ambik ape?
medic ke? klo medic mane2 boleh. UK ireland orite je :)

sory if lambt reply ni.
insyaAllah kak yan tlg bagi guide2 based on experiences. mane
yg termampu. if ade kwn2 nk nk tanye ape2 pn boleh je contact kak yan kot fb :)

Ana Solehah April 4 at 10:57pm

thanks kak yan
sorry susahkan kak yan
tak tau la hari 2 isi Mara b'coz skrg nie kena pilih Mara or Jpa
xbleh pilih 2-2
n buat pilihan study dlm ngara jer...
rasa mcm da t'silap pilih jer.

mula2 nk pilih Jordan tp takut plak macm xslmat jer ngan rusuhan..
europe plak, ayah mcm x galakkan
fikir2 balik, xpelah 9ti nk smbung master bru pegi ireland...hehe...

kak yan tajaan mara or jpa?
sharelah experience tyme interview...
kalau kak Yan free lah...
syukran...

Izyan Ariff April 15 at 12:47am Report

salam dear. sorryyy sgt. dlm fb ni byk msgs and tak prasan org reply.
habis ter drag down msgs ni.

skrg tgh interview ke?
sory sgt if it's too late. tp kak yan ni ade someone else msg. ur fren jgk kot. farhana nazir. hehe.. and kak yan duk reply msg die tringat kayt awak. so nti kak yan copy paste jawpn kak yan kat die.

harap2 leh bantu awk n kawn2 laen insyaAllah.
interview jgn worry sgt2. jwb sincerely. pk dalam2 ape nk jawab. ape kite nk buat in the future. jgn fikir skema jawanpan sgt. interviewers da puluh2 thun dgr jwapn same sure tak best.hehehe..

cam dulu. ade kak yan pnah dgr cite kwn kak yan. time interview, die btul2 niat nk jadi doktor best, so tht leh tlg org susah2 ke ape. and alhamdulillah, interviewer yg die dpt is Doktor Muslim yg terlibat dgn tlg2 org relief mission camtu. so interviewer tu siap ckap "sy doakan awak leh capai target tu." camtu la. so think har and clear of what YOU want to do in your life, and try sampaikan dlm interview tu. tak perlu pk pasal skema jawapan sgt..

about pilhan tu. awk da pilih skrg kan? so dont worry too much. ade hikmah dlm setiap pilihan. allah gerakkan hati kitepilih camtu, insyaAllah tak silap. tp yg terbaik.

balajar mane2 tak kisah, janji kite faham ape kite nk dlm bende yg kite buat tu. *kak yan mara*

:)

ape2 nti text kak yan lg dlm ni. lg snang. awk paste kat wall kak yan > KAK YAN CHECK INBOX. sure kak yan check.hehehe ;)

Izyan Ariff April 15 at 12:49am Report

ni yg kak yan reply kat farhana tadi. sory name die ade kat dlam.
ape2 hal kak yan doakan sume adik2 yg nk interview ok insyaAllah ;)

hm. solat hajat mtk Allah lembutkn lidah ^^,
first off ckap dgn tenang je la kot. ckap dgn confident.
biar org knal kite camne. bukn nk impress org tu smate2 :)

die tanye soalan ape eh..lupe la plak. tp basic2 je kot iA.
so make sure clear dlm ape aim kite nti.
nk ambik ape tu sbb ape. and ape kite aim nk buat (tak perlu lebih2
fikir over pn. cume short term goal. ape impian kite yg kecik2 ke.

mcm dulu kak yan nk ambik medic sgt2, and suke tgk org dpt pegi relief missions. and alhamdulillah, bile ambik medic, slowly dpt aim bende2 camtu. cam skrg, tak dpt pergi relief mission hebat2 pn, tp join relief mission sket2 yg buat time summer.

ape lg eh. soalan die tak tanye pelik2 sgt insyaAllah.
and remind ourselves jgk, chances ni tak ramai org dpt, and u just wanna try your best.

english practice2 dpan cermin.hehe..

tu je kot.pkai kemas2 :) betulkan niat. kite gi interview, cuz nk daptkan peluang blaja tinggi2, org sponsor. tak ramai org dpt peluang tu. ok dear ;)

ape2 hal text.iA kak yan cube reply. sori sgt. bile masuk jrg2 slalu message dlm fb ni da ttolak ke bwh, and kak yan tak perasan. T,T

sory.all the best. mtk parents doakan. kak yan doakan farhana ngn kwn dipermudahkn urusan. plg penting tawakkal. yakin Allah's watching over :)

message dri kak Yan...she is in Dublin right now...

she's right. i did solat sunat istikharah when i filled the online form...so whatever is the result i must redha...apa2 pown Allah knows the best for us!